Tag Archives: Interracial Relationships

A Spark that Lit a Flame

Good Evening World Wide Web!  Welcome to We Check Other.com.  If this is the first time that you’ve seen this page I would like to first off welcome you.  I want to give you the short reason of why I am here and what my goal is.  I am here because I am the mother of inter-racial AND inter-cultural children.  My goal is to eventually have a community of parents, grandparents, friends, family and just simply people who identify with this multifaceted issue in some capacity.  The truth of the matter is I’ve found that most people need support who are living outside of their comfort zone; loving and co-existing with people unlike themselves.  I have a vision, but as I’ve come to realize in just getting starting, some things just don’t go exactly as we plan.  I’m ready to just let this vision take shape, and re-baseline if necessary.  I want to share with you an experience that started me on my journey over 5 years ago.

It was 2007; the year of the birth of my daughter.  Patiently awaiting her arrival surrounded by loved ones, friends and family with the best of intentions.  It started to receive comments that some even considered to be compliments.  I am brown, culturally American (I’ll explain later to not loose track)  and my husband is brown, culturally Hispanic.  My attempt to illustrate is to give you an idea, a vision if you will of what the world SEE and ultimately what determines the realities of race and culture in America and throughout the world.   I am BLACK and he is HISPANIC, according to the boxes.  By the way, one is a color and the other is a culture.  “I sure hope she gets his hair” someone from MY side says.  “Do you think she will have BLACK lips or a BLACK nose?”  Someone from his side asks, and the list go on and on.  Once my perfect little daughter arrived, I noticed the checking her for “RACIAL FEATURES.”  She has a nose like her father, and hair.  She looks like him, but she’s still black,”  Someone said to me.  I realized then that this gravitation to want to find a box, where you fit a few of the items and we’ll put you there was coming alive with my daughter.  The reality of the situation is that she is both, and had no typical bias features of either race that I noticed.  The only correlation I could think of was mixing red and blue.   I am going to visually mix the colors red and blue.  If I can see red more than the blue, then it’s red.  Right?  The reality is it becomes purple, a totally different color.  It even becomes apart of a different color scheme.  Here’s a vision.  I see an argument among adults over who is right and a child caught in the middle.  One that will only understand the bias from their home and possibly hasn’t learned one.  Fresh and close to REAL LOVE.   One that LOVE both parents and have features where they now don’t resemble one race in particular.  They resemble both of them.   Of course, my daughter is not a crayon, but my job as a mother is to instill within her that the human existence will deliver to her anything that she is passionate about.  Whether she feels comfortable co-existing comfortably within the 2 cultures in her case, or whether she gravitated towards one in particular, the decision should be hers, not that of bias, racial ignorance or racism.  How do you achieve that?  My idea is to allow more consideration for OTHER, and keep your boxes.  We don’t need them.  I will check OTHER.  Let me mention my past, and tell you my ancestry.  If we must deal with what some consider to be facts, then do a DNA test.  For some that won’t even generate high numbers of what the world SEE.    Tell me what you think.  I am open to ideas.

Thank you so much for tuning in.  Until next time.  What is your OTHER?