Tag Archives: culture

Multi-ALL Must READS

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Good Afternoon World Wide Web!  Today is a wonderful day.  We are closer to perfection than we were yesterday!  I am sending out some great options for every person living, loving, raising children or just simply interested in diversity.  I’ve said this to so many people in my life; my children (2) are my greatest teachers.  Their actions, and minds allow me to attempt daily to better understand our world.  I’ve included two children’s books with great material that are wonderful to share with our children.  Please enjoy!

Please find @wecheckother on Facebook and Twitter!  Thank you!

Others’Mother

 

Are WE ALL BIAS? RACIST?

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“Greatest Evening to you World Wide Web.  Today is a beautiful day.  We are closer to perfection today than we were yesterday.”-Marjorie Molina   Today I am asking a question.  Are WE ALL BIAS!? RACIST!? Just plain don’t like that black guy who cut you off in traffic the other day.  He’s like all the other rapper thugs who want a hand-out from the government.  Or the Spanish guy who lives in a house with 3 families and has too many children waiting for his handout too. The Cauc-Asian serial killer.    I honestly tried to think of a negative bias for other races and ethnicities but I don’t have a long list.  I even asked 7 people and nothing.   The dynamics could be different around the world.  Whatever the numbers, I’m sure when one is honest in a closed circle, they’ve heard at least one negative association to a race or culture.  This post isn’t to help self conviction.  This is not even to blast a race or talk about the MANY negative associations to one or another.  I really just want to know how connected are we?  How diverse is our dinner tables?  Can we truly tackle the obstacles of another’s shoes if we haven’t walked in them?  How open are we to being totally wrong about what we think is right?  These are all questions that have to be asked of one self when we expect to overcome which ever diagnosis we may have.

Why am I asking this question?  Honestly,  I see too many inadequate attempts to tackle the issue.  Bias that people hold seeping into words.  The unwillingness to open the UN at their dinner table.  The lack of real life experiences sharing that this is not just a walk in the park where the answer magically appears.  Post racial integration which was oh just 30 or 40 years ago, people have started to openly accept well the integration of race.  We have ALL been influenced by the world in which we were bred.  Anyone who denies this fact is dangerous.  They aren’t truly dealing with an issue, they are denying there is a problem.   Can just 2 minorities tackle the issue?  My opinion, absolutely not.  Everyone needs a seat at the table even the majority.  A ticket to the open-minded.  People who are willing to be absolutely wrong, and right sometimes, to tackle an issues that are long overdue.  The willingness to let ego stand down and let the soul, LOVE and human logic take the vote.  The willingness to be open and allow your soul to be shaped in love.  Can we do this?  Who needs a seat?  I don’t want a seat.  I want to lead the project team.  I was born to do so.  My circle is a mini UN in progress.   I openly seek out each opportunity to shake the hand of someone who looks and speaks differently than me. What can I learn? How does that fit into the big picture?  So many questions that can be fit into one post.  The truth is the two biggest minorities aren’t the have all end all.  Black & Latino I mean.  “The beautiful burden of being the land free to the brave and home of the rich where opportunity is opened up to all that knock is the grand diversity of our issues”-Marjorie Molina

If you are a 1%er living tastefully diverse, I salute you!  I admire your resolve.  I have an idea of what your path of growth was and still is like and I would like to share that gift with the world someday.  The ability to funnel LOVE.  To see the world through open eyes in a world that is segregated still from everything to churches to the grocery store, we have work to do.  Every person alive and loving outside of the box is doing all of humanity a great service.  I salute you.

Thank you for your time.  Please share my work if you would like.  I LOVE fans!  I’m on facebook and twitter.  @wecheckother.  LIKES help me grow in my dream and as a writer.  Join me.  Let’s connect LIKE minds.  wecheckother@yahoo.com

I am a “FACTS HUNTER”  Below are some definitions for all who like to stand on concrete.  Enjoy!

Bias is an inclination of temperament or outlook to present or hold a partial perspective at the expense of (possibly equally valid) alternatives in reference to objects, people, or groups. Anything biased generally is one-sided and therefore lacks a neutral point of view. Bias can come in many forms and is often considered to be synonymous withprejudice or bigotry.-Wikipedia

Media bias is the bias of journalists and news producers within the mass media, in the selection of which events and stories are reported and how they are covered. The term “media bias” implies a pervasive or widespread bias contravening the standards of journalism, rather than the perspective of an individual journalist or article. The direction and degree of media bias in various countries is widely disputed.

Practical limitations to media neutrality include the inability of journalists to report all available stories and facts, and the requirement that selected facts be linked into a coherent narrative (Newton 1989). Since it is impossible to report everything, selectivity is inevitable. Government influence, including overt and covert censorship, biases the media in some countries. Market forces that result in a biased presentation include the ownership of the news source, concentration of media ownership, the selection of staff, the preferences of an intended audience, and pressure from advertisers.

Political bias has been a feature of the mass media since its birth with the invention of the printing press. The expense of early printing equipment restricted media production to a limited number of people. Historians have found that publishers often served the interests of powerful social groups.[2]–Wikipedia

 

 

Black, White, Other

black white other

Good Evening World Wide Web!  Today is the greatest day!  We are closer to perfection than we were yesterday!  I’m going to begin by saying, “Happy Groundhog Day!”  Punxsutanwney Phil didn’t see his shadow.  Pennsylvania’s most famous groundhog has forecast an early spring.  Ok..so for anyone unfamiliar, there is a legend in the United States that if this furry rodent, or groundhog sees his shadow in a place called Gobblers Knob in Pennsylvania, winter will last 6 more weeks.  If he doesn’t then spring will come earlier.  There’s a ceremony and all conducted by the “Inner Circle.”  Well today, cameras rolling, and no shadow.  My flowers are ready!  I come offering a great read.  The book “Black, White, Other” has gotten some good reviews.    Enjoy!

 

I’m Chocolate, You’re Vanilla!

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GREAT Afternoon World Wide Web!  Today is a great day!  We are closer to perfection than we were yesterday. Here’s a related read!  Enjoy!

I’m on facebook and twitter @wecheckother.  Join me!  Thank you for your time!  Happy Reading.

BLACK, LATINO & “OTHER”

Good Afternoon World Wide Web!  Today is a great day!  We are closer to perfection than we were yesterday.  Indeed we are.  I want to begin by sharing a personal, true story.  This story is one of many that began to give shape to a reality that I truly lived and learned something that before this milestone I really didn’t understand the dynamics of its reality.  It took place about 5 years ago.  This is based on a real life event so I will skew names just to protect the persons involved.  After the birth of my daughter; I’ll call my daughter Kaitlyn. I was invited to a then long time friend of mine’s house who is Dominican.  For anyone not familiar I will place some definitions in this post to give you as much of a visual as possible.  Let me begin by saying that I am not trying to attack Dominican culture, I am only trying to bring awareness and speaking from a true personal experience.

I entered the gathering with my daughter “Kaitlyn in hand.  The music and food were awesome!  There was great reception among the people who knew that I identify as African-American and there were some who weren’t as open; which was o.k.  After about an hour or so of being there, I was comfronted by a woman, who identified as Dominican.  She asked me, “Who’s baby is that, that you have?”  I smiled and said, “This is my daughter Kaitlyn.”  The woman, I’ll call her Emma gasped,  “hhhhuuuuhhhh!”  She almost scared me.  “De verdad!” She replied to me in spanish.  This means, “For real?”  I replied,” yes she is.”   I looked at Emma almost confused because she knew very well that my husband was Mestizo and from Central America.  The disbelief was the beginning of my awareness.  I tried to soften the blow by beginning to mention my husband.  Emma says, “You still with the Mexican?”  I told her, “Well yes, but my husband is from Honduras”   Emma continues to dig the hole, “Well Mexico, Honduras; they’re the same thing!”  I gave a blank stare.  Emma; “Well how is it that your daughter looks like that?”  I reply to Emma, “What do you mean?”  She goes on to talk about her two daughters and how her grandmother was “white” and her husband’s grandmother had long hair like another guest.  I replied, “Well that’s nice.”  I have to admit, it took me a few moments for the light to turn on but then I realized, that after her series of questions, she really identified me in her mind as though my family had migrated from Africa yesterday.  I honestly looked at her, before becoming more mature and thought, “She’s “blacker” than me.”  What I’m saying is that Emma’s skin was much darker than mine.  If she didn’t open her mouth and speak Spanish I would consider her just another “black” woman.   I have to give you a visual so that you can better understand.  You see, Emma and her husband were Afro-Dominican.

Afro – Dominican is a Dominican of African descent. Most Africans arrived to the Dominican Republic came to this land from the sixteenth to the nineteenth century because of slavery. Most of them came from West and Central Africa. Currently there are also many black immigrants, particularly Haitians, which can be included within of the Afro-Dominican community, if they were born in the country or have Dominican naturalization. Afro-Dominicans are the majority in the country, being mainly mulattos. -Wikipedia

Emma and her family had beautiful rich melanin content, and her hair texture was what I would identify immediately as a “black” or “African-American” woman, and so was her husband and daughters.  My heritage is also pretty interesting, but I didn’t feel the need or thought it would be useful to go down my entire lineage so that she could understand my racial dynamics.  I thought, “Is she really asking me this?”  As I looked around the room I saw every “race” and mixture under the rainbow.  I got a crash course in that visit of the racial dynamics within the “LATINO community.  They also have a very common acceptance of “Other” or “mixed” children, because this was their reality.  “Other” or “mixed” children to them are typical to be Latino.  Just as long as the children came from 2 people who identified as Latino.  It is very similar if not worse to that of American culture, in my opinion.    I even mentioned the incident to my husband who wasn’t there with me and he said, “All Dominican’s are “black.”  Even my husband, whose appearance is that of a typical LATINO; “Indian” or “Mestizo” carried some similar racial bias.

I have to admit, I’ve heard the “she looks hispanic” or “she has indian in her blood” and the long list of others to try to explain race and cultural relations.  What I found in that visit was an unwillingness from a racially black, culturally Latino women-Emma that my Kaitlyn who has a typical look and mixture of a “mulatto” from her own country, simply because I identify was “African-American.”  This is also one of the long list of occurences that birthed in my heart the need for my children and others like mine to have their own identities and not be shoved in or out of a culture or race for an unwillingness to accept their uniqueness and symbolism of unity.

I imagine that this takes place in MOST ETHNICITIES.  Mainly because an ETHNICITY is not a RACE.  It just a group of RACES or RACIAL MIXTURES that celebrate a CULTURE.  I’ve included some definitions for anyone from the eastern hemispehere or just not particularly familiar with the countries I’m mentioning.

 

Dominicans (Spanish: Dominicanos) are people inhabiting or originating from Dominican Republic. The majority of Dominicans reside in Dominican Republic, although there is also a large Dominican diaspora, especially in the United States, Puerto Rico and Spain. The population of the Dominican Republic in 2007 was estimated by the United Nations at 9,760,000.[2]—                 -Wikipeidia

Racial issues

As elsewhere in the Spanish Empire, the Spanish colony of Hispaniola employed a social system known as casta, wherein Peninsulares (Spaniards born in Spain) occupied the highest echelon. These were followed, in descending order of status, by: criollos, castizos, mestizos, Indians, mulattoes, zambos, and black slaves.[9][10] The stigma of this stratification persisted, reaching its culmination in the Trujillo regime, as the dictator used racial persecution and nationalistic fervor against Haitians.

According to a study by the CUNY Dominican Studies Institute, about 90% of the contemporary Dominican population has West African ancestry to varying degrees.[11] However, most Dominicans do not self-identify as black, in contrast to people of West African ancestry in other countries. A variety of terms are used to represent a range of skintones, such as morena (brown), canela (red/brown; literally: “cinnamon”), India (Indian), blanca oscura (dark white), and trigueña (literally “wheat colored”, which is the English equivalent of olive skin),[12] among others.

Many have claimed that this represents a reluctance to self-identify with West African descent and the culture of the freed slaves. According to Dr. Miguel Anibal Perdomo, professor of Dominican Identity and Literature at Hunter College in New York City, “There was a sense of ‘deculturación’ among the West Indian slaves of Hispaniola. [There was] an attempt to erase any vestiges of West Indian culture from the Dominican Republic. We were, in some way, brainwashed and we’ve become westernized.”[13]

However, this view is not universal, as many also claim that Dominican culture is simply different and rejects the racial categorizations of other regions. Ramona Hernández, director of the Dominican Studies Institute at City College of New York asserts that the terms were originally a defense against racism: “During the Trujillo regime, people who were dark skinned were rejected, so they created their own mechanism to fight it.” She went on to explain, “When you ask, ‘What are you?’ they don’t give you the answer you want … saying we don’t want to deal with our blackness is simply what you want to hear.”[14] The Dominican Republic is not unique in this respect, either. In a 1976 census survey conducted in Brazil, respondents described their skin color in 136 distinct terms.[9][14]

-Wikipedia

As always, I sincerely appreciate your time and attendance.  If you can identify, live in, or love someone who checks “OTHER” or is outside of 1 box, please show your support my liking @wecheckother on facebook and twitter.   Thank you!  Until the next.

XOXOXO,

OthersMother

 

I’ll Create My Own Identity!

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Great Evening World Wide Web!  Today is a wonderful day.  We are closer to perfection today than we were yesterday.  On this very first Sunday in 2013 I want to blog about a subject that I think most people who are of multiple races, ethnicities & cultures have heard.  I wouldn’t say it’s right or wrong.  I think personally that it is all about the “user” and how comfortable they feel in creating their own personal identity.  I’m sure there are many feelings on how this subject should be approached.   I think all identity is personal even if you identify with a singular box.  I realize that it really doesn’t begin to touch the issues that so many of the people who are “mixed” heritiage or couples in interracial or intercultural relationships have to deal with, but again these are a personal choice.    We’ve all heard these terms or similar ones: blaxican, blasian, blatino, blacknamese, blacklaos, blackapino, Caurean, Casian, ChexMex, Chigro, Filitina, Japorican, Mexipino, and the list goes on and on.  The attempt to find a box for a child of direct “mixed” heritage, where a new name is created.   Could you imagine a census with soooo many choices?  I think the boxes would be the entire questionnaire.  I’m not trying in any way to make light of the subject, but I am trying to make a point.  Maybe there will never be a way to identify all the beautiful uniqueness that humanity has created.  I do think however that the simple box OTHER will began to let that light shine.  I know that OTHER is one box, but it’s the hippest, most inclusive, colorful box in the list.   Atleast that’s what I tell my two beautiful kids.  They have friends and loved ones who identify with just one and have pride in one.  My 5 year old has even began to be pitched into why she is just “one” race based on her melanin content.  (That’s another blog)   It simply means that you have the priviledge to explain instead of just robotically checking a box.  It’s kinking the “norm” to the curb, and redifining the integrations of LOVE and the beginning of understanding what is unique.  OTHER!  WE CHEK OTHER.  If you hadn’t become fully aqauinted with the idea of wecheckother.com,  I really hope this begins to explain why this blog is here.  I’m excited to hear from you and look forward to learning together.  Let me know what you think.  How should “mixed” race, culture and ethnicities identify themselves?  Until til the next.

XOXOXO,

Others’Mother

Happy New Year from WE CHECK OTHER!

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Happy New Year World Wide Web!  2013!  I would like to begin by extending a personal invite for each of the members, subscrbers, and viewers to follow on facebook, and twitter:  @wecheckother.   New content for this brand new year is on the way.

I look forward to working with and interacting with each of you in the future!  I forward blessings and prosperity through the World Wide Web  to each of you in this upcoming year ahead of us all!  Cheers to learning, growing, sharing, giving, loving, living, life, and happiness!

XOXOXO,

Others’Mother

 

The “SINGULAR” Fight for RIGHTS

Good Morning World Wide Web!  I would like to extend a special appreciation and Welcome to the new members of the We Check Other Community and Forum!  I look forward to learning, evolving and exciting new events in the future as we grow together!  Today is a beautiful day.  We are closer to perfection than we were yesterday!  If you are visiting this site for the first time, please be sure to become a member so that you can contribute feedback to the blog post, and or take part in the forum.  We are also growing up on Facebook and Twitter.  Please be sure to check out our page www.facebook.com/wecheckother or www.twitter.com/wecheckother.  You may also find links to both locations at the bottom of the page.

The “Singular” Fight for Rights!  We see it everywhere; there’s Tea Partying & Rallying, Civil Rights Fighting, Immigrant Rights Fighting, and a multitude of others.  Sometimes the celebration of interracial,  multiethnic  and multicultural people are drowned out by the noise as the active fights are like a trigger with an angry, passionate person behind it to “choose a side.”  Looking at major news broadcasts I see the 3 main census of black, white, and latino social classification groups fighting, “This is one of your many forms of racial suppression, we want change” or “1/2 of minorities want hand outs and government assistance. Get a JOB!”  and the Latino community, well yes the “illegal” immigrants broke the law by coming into the U.S. with no prior checks or permission, but they are hard working non-citizens and deserve reform!”  I often imagine a Group of Asian and Indian Americans sitting back with popcorn and their drink of choice watching this exchange of racial bias and hatred take place, & they seem to be just waiting for the smoke to clear to step up and actually state their petitions if any.  I’m not saying that there aren’t valid points in the message of each group.  I live in the Southern part of the United States & there are people who hang confederate flags in their front yards and paste them all over their cars and belongings celebrating an era in U.S. history where racial hatred was not only legal, but a way of life.  Ultimately this is part of A larger problem.  If you live in America or any part of the world where racial classifications and social hierarchy is measured then fair skin has been king.

A quick story.  I went to an attorney’s office.  The attorney and I were talking about the reason that I was there with my husband.  She classified herself as “white” American and of course I as “black” American.  We’re talking and in her attempt to make me comfortable she says to me, “If the 14th amendment was reversed or taken away, then I would be the first on to fight.”  I didn’t know whether to be happy or sad.  The 14th Amendment:

The Fourteenth Amendment (Amendment XIV) to the United States Constitution was adopted on July 9, 1868, as one of the Reconstruction Amendments.

Its Citizenship Clause provides a broad definition of citizenship that overruled the Supreme Court’s ruling in Dred Scott v. Sandford (1857) that had held that black people could not be citizens of the United States.[1]

Its Due Process Clause prohibits state and local governments from depriving persons of life, liberty, or property without certain steps being taken to ensure fairness. This clause has been used to make most of the Bill of Rights applicable to the states, as well as to recognizesubstantive and procedural rights.

Its Equal Protection Clause requires each state to provide equal protection under the law to all people within its jurisdiction. This clause was the basis for Brown v. Board of Education (1954), the Supreme Court decision which precipitated the dismantling of racial segregation in United States education. In Reed v. Reed (1971), the Supreme Court ruled that laws arbitrarily requiring sex discrimination violated the Equal Protection Clause.

The amendment also includes a number of clauses dealing with the Confederacy and its officials.

-Wikipedia

I immediately thought, well should it be?  I was absolutely surprised that she considered it.  If I’m honest, I hadn’t paid much attention to it, less knew exactly what it said so I done some research.  This was an attorney that was going to “represent” me.  In a what I considered a failed attempt to make me comfortable, she was subtly reminding me that I was not a part of the original plan and she was.  WoW!  What a way to reel in the dough and fight for equality?  It’s sad to say but it took from1860 ish until a Civil Rights Movement that started in 1955 and went up until 1968 and beyond for any measurable change to take place in the U.S.  That’s a Hundred plus year difference!!!!  When I was on a visit to one of my in-laws house in NY some years ago, my aunt in-law, who is LATINA asked me, “Why are “Black” people so stuck on slavery?”  It’s over let it go!  I’m sure this is something that she had wanted to ask me since she met me.  Being that she was born outside of the U.S. she was really only familiar with what had been taught to her by the people around her.  I said Well, it’s more than slavery, It’s the Civil Rights Act of 1968, The Fair Housing Act, Desegregation of Schools,  The Right to marry interracial, which she is now,  just to name a few.  Although her closed mind still didn’t grasp the concept that there was a 100 year difference in these amenities that she now enjoys as well as her children, that was the “Black” Civil Rights Movement, and it happened in our lifetimes. It was much to her benefit and EVERY person who doesn’t classify themselves as “white” American.  After I calmed down the fire and tendency to want to whip out a chalk board and teach, I walked away.

There are definite points in the “Singular Fights” of the many races and ethnicities that I understand and can personally relate to, but where does that place the people who have already integrated their lives and looking to build a bridge through these present, long-standing issues.  Imagine going to the home of a person who is passionate on one of the pressing issues and your face represents the “Enemy!!!”  Merry Christmas and Happy Thanksgiving, because that is going to be a mess!!!  The truth is when families have integrated, and especially when there are innocent children involved, there has to be a line drawn in the sand.  Children who check OTHER in their racial classification boxes, 2 or multiple boxes, trying to integrate into a system that exists on racial and social classification, find themselves on multiple sides of issues because they love all sides of the table.  They aren’t truly considered.   They can’t be affected by the past or the present, because they are the future.  People have always been mixed as I stated in an earlier blog, but it is now with barriers being removed for racial segregation and the ability to “legally” marry beyond your racial classification,  that this subject can really began to be explored by people and science.  Can a child that classifies as both Black and White fight for both issues?  Is it even possible without one being the defendant and the other, the plaintiff?  Could they inadvertently represent a solution?   I feel this is a good foundation in understanding some of the barriers that some families face with having “mixed” children.   The Constitution has 27 amendments and counting…..Please reference below for anyone interested!  It’s literally a timeline of history unfolding.

The Amendments to the US Constitution are:

  • Amendment 1 – Freedom of Religion, Press, Expression
  • Amendment 2 – Right to Bear Arms
  • Amendment 3 – Quartering of Soldiers
  • Amendment 4 – Search and Seizure
  • Amendment 5 – Trial and Punishment, Compensation for Takings
  • Amendment 6 – Right to Speedy Trial, Confrontation of Witnesses
  • Amendment 7 – Trial by Jury in Civil Cases
  • Amendment 8 – Cruel and Unusual Punishment
  • Amendment 9 – Construction of Constitution
  • Amendment 10 – Powers of the States and People
  • Amendment 11 – Judicial Limits
  • Amendment 12 – Choosing the President, Vice President
  • Amendment 13 – Slavery Abolished
  • Amendment 14 – Citizenship Rights
  • Amendment 15 – Race No Bar to Vote
  • Amendment 16 – Status of Income Tax Clarified
  • Amendment 17 – Senators Elected by Popular Vote
  • Amendment 18 – Liquor Abolished
  • Amendment 19 – Women’s Suffrage
  • Amendment 20 – Presidential, Congressional Terms
  • Amendment 21 – Amendment 18 Repealed
  • Amendment 22 – Presidential Term Limits
  • Amendment 23 – Presidential Vote for District of Columbia
  • Amendment 24 – Poll Taxes Barred
  • Amendment 25 – Presidential Disability and Succession
  • Amendment 26 – Voting Age Set to 18 Years
  • Amendment 27 – Limiting Changes to Congressional Pay

What do you think?  I urge positive participation.  If you’re from outside of the U.S. and your experience is similar or even different I would love to hear from you as well.  Thank you for visiting!  Until the Next!

XOXOXO,

OthersMother

The Story of 2 Thanksgivings!!!

Good Morning World Wide Web!  Today is an OTHER day!  We are closer to perfection than we were yesterday.  I want to begin by welcoming you to the best community on the web.  A community where we can come together share, learn and laugh about an experience that is new to us.  One that is challenging yet rewarding.  If you are visiting and you are outside of the United States and visiting, this post will be geared towards a recent holiday celebrated in the USA called Thanksgiving.  Here is a little paragraph history.  If you’re familiar you can skip over the paragraph.

In September 1620 a ship called the Mayflower left Plymouth England with 102 passengers–an assortment of religious separates seeking a new home lured by the promise of prosperity and the freedom to openly practice their faith in the “New World”  They dropped anchor near the tip of Cape Cod, eventually passing the Massachusetts Bay where the “Pilgrims” as we now know them today settled establishing the Village at Plymouth.  Only half of the plagued settlers survived the trip and brutal winter season.  In March of the following year the remaining settlers moved to shore and were met by an Abenaki Indian who greeted the settlers in English.  Several days later he returned with another “Native” American Squanto, a member of the Pawtuxet tribe who had been captured the an English sea-captain, sold into slavery before escaping to London and returning to his homeland on an expository expedition.  This beautiful, forgiving soul Squanto taught the settlers (Pilgrims) weakened by illness and malnutrition how to cultivate corn, extract maple syrup, catch fish in the rivers, and avoid poisonous plants.  He helped the settlers forge an alliance with the Wampanoag, a local tribe, which endured more than 50 years and TRAGICALLY remain ONE of the SOLE examples of harmony between Native Americans and European Settlers.  In November 1621 the corn harvest was successful.  Governor William Bradford organized a celebratory feast and invited a group of the colony’s Native American allies, including the Wampanoag chief Massasoit.  The festival lasted 3 days, and is now known as what is celebrated today in the USA each years as “Thanksgiving.”

-History Channel

Every third Thursday in the month of November, Thanksgiving is celebrated with family and loved ones by coming together and having a humongous feast of all the delectable foods that one can imagine.  It’s not always the pillar of health in homes, but the food is super yummy!  The tale of 2 Thanksgivings is two separate experiences.  My story:  This year my husband and I went to my family’s house.  My older sister cooked a beautiful meal and we spent the day eating, talking and catching up. I had my brother, mother, uncles, cousins, in-laws, friends and a few family friends present.  There was turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, green beans, potato salad, candied yams, beans, pies, cakes, collard greens, and I’m sure I forgot some things but you get the picture.  For me it was such a wonderful experience.   I was in one of the most comfortable places possible.  I looked in a corner on the couch as I’m talking, smiling & laughing at my husband who was glued to the football game and hadn’t really said much to anyone.  My mind is thinking, “Is he uncomfortable?”  “Did someone say something to him?”  I walk over with my extremely loving, very supportive sister to ask was he okay or can I get him something?  I just really wanted to see him enjoying this celebratory time just as I was.  For this very reason, I have to be honest in saying that I have neglected going home to my family to “keep him comfortable” in the past.  After all, I speak Spanish and I am familiar with his culture where I have to integrate myself.  We live closer to people within his culture and family where we share a great majority of our time and holidays.  I enjoyed the entire day.   I was happy that I was with my family, but a little distracted by the fact that I can see my husband is completely outside of his comfort zone and it showed.  At about 11:30 I kissed all of my family and pulled off with my husband and children to go back home.

The next day we decided to go over to a close friend of my husband’s house to continue the celebration.  Around 6 we loaded up.  My husband’s best friend, his child and mother, my husband’s other friends were all present.  There was tamales, arroz con pollo, salchicha, pan.  These are Latin American dishes.  In Latin America there is not a celebration of Thanksgiving, but the people who live in the United States celebrate with the dishes that they feel most comfortable with.  I saw the shell bust open.  My husband was mingling, talking, eating, laughing and sharing.  I’m doing so as well.  I have to admit, I didn’t know whether to be upset with him or happy for him.  He was a totally different person from the day before.  He was in the place where he felt most comfortable.  I’ve endured some not so nice comments over the years.  In this feast, of course the typical, only American in the room, I’m paying for all the sins of the American White Race and Black Race combined.  This is something that I have become accustomed to tuning out and times, but there have been other seriously rude interactions where I haven’t been so quiet.  This was one of them.  I’m listening to the great beauty of Central America, and how it triumphs that of America; how the food is better, the culture is better, the kids are better quality, my daughters straightened hair is so beautiful, and a myriad of all the other bias in this EPIC FAIL of an attempt to try to communicate with me and I guess make me comfortable.  I’m completely convinced that it is the opposite.   At times I wish I hadn’t learned Spanish so I could sit quietly in a corner and they wouldn’t talk to me.  I could eat and imagine a world where racism, ignorance, and bias didn’t exist.   By the last comment, my top was about to blow and I just said, “I don’t want to hear this”  I’m almost ready to just scream at  my husband, because of his happiness I’m miserable.  I missed my family!  Once everyone seen that I had come to my point of this is enough, they started to explain.  I of course wanted to go into a full course of explaining to them a history of race and culture, but I knew I would be wasting my breath so, I left that part of my answering out.  I finished out the night, eating and calming my frustrations.  At the end of the night, we loaded up and went home.

As a member of a multiracial and multicultural family, I have to say that this is one of the more difficult parts of existing beside having children that don’t fit in one box in our social classification of hierarchy.  We both were forced outside of our comfort zones to attempt to make each other happy, but ultimately ended up sad ourselves.  I imagine that this is one of the biggest obstacles for so many others and this is one of the many reasons I’m creating this page and community.  To share, learn, unite and succeed at being married and having children with someone who is different in any way from you.  Tell me what your Thanksgiving story was like.  I would love to hear your reaction or anything that you would want to share.  Thank you for tuning in.  Until the next time.

XOXOXO,

Others’Mother

 

Secede or Not Secede? This is Amazing!

 

Good Afternoon World Wide Web!  Today is an OTHER day!  We are closer to perfection than we were yesterday.  Today I just want to touch on the letter above.  It is a letter that is discussing all of items willing to be given up by some 100,000 plus signatures that have been obtained from the state of Texas and throughout to secede from the United States.   This of course isn’t the actual letter, but you get an idea of EVERYTHING that anger and hatred is brewing up.  This OUT CRY of racial hatred is the result of President Barack Obama being re-elected by Electoral College Vote and Popular Vote.  The people of the United States spoke. Right?  It doesn’t seem like it.  Look at the where the signatures  that have been received throughout the United States are coming from…and counting.

  1. Alabama 28,576
  2. Alaska 7,153 and 3,038
  3. Arizona 21,125
  4. Arkansas 21,315
  5. California 13.277
  6. Colorado 20,302
  7. Connecticut 2,512
  8. Delaware 7,078
  9. Florida 32,265
  10. Georgia 30,054 and 11,740 and 7,230
  11. Hawaii 3,059
  12. Idaho 5,334
  13. Illinois 4,285 and 4,457
  14. Indiana 19,566
  15. Iowa 3,955
  16. Kansas 7,696
  17. Kentucky 17,447
  18. Louisiana 35,133
  19. Maine 3,336
  20. Maryland 2,724
  21. Massachusetts 3,043
  22. Michigan 18,024
  23. Minnesota 4,646
  24. Mississippi 17,146
  25. Missouri 18,434 and 13,060
  26. Montana 12,562
  27. Nebraska 6,489
  28. Nevada 9,543
  29. New Hampshire 4,779
  30. New Jersey 13,255
  31. New Mexico 4,211
  32. New York 14,101 and 7,686
  33. North Carolina 28,388
  34. North Dakota 10,822
  35. Ohio 10,585 and 7,774 and 2,865
  36. Oklahoma 16,806 and 8,682
  37. Oregon 13,765
  38. Pennsylvania 12,396 and 8,003
  39. Rhode Island 4,043
  40. South Carolina 22,313 and 13,158
  41. South Dakota 14,295 and 5,831
  42. Tennessee 29,050
  43. Texas 111,208
  44. Utah 7,543 and 6,025
  45. Vermont 622
  46. Virginia 4,261 and 7,576
  47. Washington 3,469 and 2,597
  48. West Virginia 6,925
  49. Wisconsin 6,046
  50. Wyoming 8,21

—-Examiner.com

What does this mean for an increasing climate of tense race relations in the United States of America?  What does this mean for the children of “mixed” couples in this country?  Does anyone have a story that they would like to share?  I would love to hear from you.  Comment and be sure to find me on Facebook and Twitter!  We can continue the conversation in the forum located at the top of the discussion column.   Until the next!  Stay encouraged.  A community is coming where color isn’t an issue.  We’re building one person at a time!

XOXOXOXO,

Others’Mother