Tag Archives: black in america

Black Love Shaming

Greetings World Wide Web,

Have you walked in a public place and seen two people walking together  from 2 different races and just stared? Is it your curiosity or just your bias steering the wheel? What’s your for or against argument among the people whom you’re comfortable enough to let it all hang out? I’m talking about those conversations with parents, siblings and besties.  If you want true feelings about race relations and/or how someone really feels, you’re probably going to have to be a fly on the wall during those times. Other than that, you’re likely getting the PG-13 version. Shaming is deeper. It’s when someone is calling you out because of your choice of a mate. It can be subtle or blatant, but it’s certainly meant to call out your choice of a different race as not the thing to do.

I don’t think we need to come to that level of candor to make progress. People should be entitled to their opinions as long as those opinions don’t physically or emotionally harm another person directly.

This piece just crossed my mind because I was recently in a forum.  I was looking at the timeline and there were these celebrations of “black love.”  My perspective on it was totally different. The timeline was showing “TI & Tiny” “Beyonce & Jay-Z” “Mariah & Nick” and plenty of others. I thought, Tiny is biracial, Beyonce is tri-racial and so is Mariah. How is that “black love?” I guess what makes them “black” is how they’ve chosen to live their lives? Wouldn’t that then make “black love” essentially include mixed couples? I’m not petitioning an endorsement. I’m ultimately just addressing the current logic behind today’s realities and inconsistencies. More often than not when we see the more obvious mixtures where a black person and a white person or a black person and some other very obvious different race or ethnicity are in a relationship there’s chatter. Y’all know the chatter.  I’m not saying it’s everyone, but it’s some. With a history deeply rooted in 1 drop  that would make a “black” person’s offspring “black” or at least a consideration in the conversation of “diaspora” when there’s at least 1 parent who is black,  it’s hard to believe there is any level of shaming that takes place, but it does.  Mercy forgive if the 2 people who are in their interracial or multi-ethnic relationship has a child & that child doesn’t hold tight to their “black” heritage.  They will quickly be classified as racially confused.  Don’t let them say it on Twitter… There is an individual engine called ‘black Twitter” that will educate them quickly or make them wish that they never even spoke in the 1st place.

In other race and ethnicity around the world, children with 1 black parent aren’t allowed to classify as just that ethnicity or race solely in many cases including being mixed black and white American.  Ex: half Asian/black children aren’t often moving to Asia with the sole classification of being just Asian. Largely they are now mixed race. They can comfortably be embraced like Kimora Lee or Karreuche among “black” people. The kicker is that when their parents are in the interracial relationship, they’re often not accepted by either Asian or black Americans communities comfortably in many cases.

As I take a look at “black” celebrities there is a high biracial identity span with even Latinas who are biracial and tri-racial playing black women parts in movies and etc.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen a “black” American women playing a Latina part to date or anything thereof.

This  is stretching the rabbit hole of colorism (darkskin & lightskinned) black people far beyond reach because “some black” is “black” but interracial couples are still shamed. The media is making “biracial” the new face of beauty everywhere you look and the India Aries & Lupita Nyongos are “cute for dark women” You’d think with all the shaming that would be all you see on posters instead of lengthening techniques to “mix look” Z and tight S-shaped curls because the “nappy hair” is truly not in, but we’ve silently made it movement. Just walk down the aisle at your local beauty supply store. The faces on the products all look biracial. This is another blog worth pages so I continue along to the point.

Why then would there be “black love” shaming?  I think more than ever it’s time to embrace the rich diversity of the “black” community. It’s also time to have a coming to Savior meeting about realities long ignored and how to sweep up at our own back door. There’s a unique heart for love, acceptance and long-suffering where some practices are outdated and it’s time to ultimately embrace a seemingly evolving reality. You  don’t have to eyeball the white woman walking down the street holding hands with her black man. Trust me, she’s facing her own set of unique circumstances from people who look like her just for standing by who she loves. She probably needs a sistah’s help when she gives birth to a child that has curls and she needs to learn a moisture regimen just to keep the hair from breaking. She’ll also need help with fully understanding what the black experience is and how to effectively introduce her “black” child to society. Whether she/he thought of that or not before she fell in love is not relevant. In the black community we marvel over the mixtures at how “cute” mixed children are, but shame the couples who make them in some cases. There’s also the added part that if the couple bares a child based on a current census of understanding, the child will return right back to identifying as “black” but “yella, or light-skinned or red bone” or something like that. There’s a whole heap of “good hair” sayings where biracial people blend quietly into “black” culture with the “black folk” with Indian in their blood.

I know very passionate people who didn’t choose to fall in love with someone who is racially or ethnically different from them. This doesn’t change their black experience. It also won’t change their children’s experience either. I’ve found it to be a bridge over troubled waters in some cases.  It surely hasn’t changed mine. Contrarily I’ve been invited behind closed doors and even invited to conversations from people who look at my world from the outside. It increased my awareness and even made me more passionate about my identity. It didn’t happen before making me feel horrible for years. I’ve had several coming to Savior meetings with myself over the years. I’ve heard hard truths, mean opinions, been wounded and stopped in my tracks with wanting to be around anyone who doesn’t look like me. I lived to love again. Every single new experience with an awesome person built me back up so I could jump back into this wonderful diverse world of people with so much I can learn from.

I purposefully don’t stare at people who are brave in their life choices. That takes courage. LGBT, mixed couples and so many other people who aren’t what our society places it’s “normal” stamp of approval on.  When they walk into the world elated with the love being offered to them by another human they should be embraced. If I make eye contact, which I normally try to do, I smile at all the beautiful brave souls I see because I know what they feel. I also want to send them love and light.

Contrarily, for the people who openly intend to shame with their words, I feel sorry for them. They’re missing out on realities that whether they’re comfortable with them or not, are moving forward and growing stronger.

Until the Next,

XOXO,

MarjorieIam

 

 

An African American in the Global Community

Good Afternoon World Wide Web,

I’m interested in sharing a story.  I want everyday people to view this blog and think, “I get it.”  With that being said I’m going to tell you about my morning so far and bring a little of my life experiences and questions into the blog.  I went to a forum this morning where there was representation from countries around the world.  From a color perspective, the majority of those represented were in the beige and white family.  They could easily check “white” as their race, assimilate into society and if they lack an accent would enjoy white privilege without a problem.  Everyone went around the room introducing themselves and stating their countries of origin.  When it was my turn, I stated my name, occupation, and why I had an interest in being there.  There were a few items that I noticed but the most important was, there weren’t any African-Americans present.  I’m not saying that there should or shouldn’t be.  I’m stating what I saw.  There were several white American born people in the room.  Actually, the person moderating the event appeared to be white American and he even had white American constituency present.  I thought, WoW!  In a growing economy, where the world is becoming increasingly diverse and expanding across borders, there aren’t any stakeholders from the community present besides ME!

I have to admit when I say my first and last name, there’s somewhat of a pass because of the Latin origin.  There were several representatives from various parts of Latin America present.  The un-chartered waters that I meet when I walk into a room and can speak another language is interesting to explain.  I’m a sell out to my community at times, and I’m Latina to others….It’s the life and times of the mixed experience.  How can you explain in a parochial society that you have an interest in both places? How do you help people who have no real reason or interest understand that you are a stakeholder in both places?  We’re still getting there.  I imagine that after the world has given “everyone else” no choice but to accept that, “the world’s transactions and interactions are now GLOBAL” people will be more accepting.  The truth is, by that time the rules to engage will have already been created by the stakeholders with a seat at the table and everyone else will be following them.

I can’t make you understand how it feels when I go somewhere and there’s a surprised look or receptions when I say, “I’m African-American” but speak another language yet when I see someone who is an immigrant speaking proper English as their second language, it’s accepted makes me feel.  It reminds me of the dual consciousness that still plagues the community.  The homeless diaspora; where Africa is far away and America is beyond reach.  To explain that I  have an interest in the international conversation just furthers spaces me away from the collective “Black or African-American” community.  There’s a tendency for white people and even some immigrants to believe that if there is a native of Africa in the room that means “Black American” representation.  Although the country of origin is the same, there’s a disconnect in many cases.  There is language. cultural barriers and so much more.  Moreover, immigrants from Africa tend to speak multiple languages.  They even get a pass because on a larger scale, more people expect that they will at least be bilingual.  I’m sure that this isn’t the reality everywhere.  I believe that more culturally diverse places around the world have people who are active and participating on a global scale in business and conversations.  I’m bringing attention to a confederate south and other less progressive leadership pools where those changes haven’t begun to take place.

What do you think?  How does your city look?  Chime in below.  Progress happens in the details.

Until the next,

-MarjorieIam

“Por UNO Pagan Todos”

Hello WWW,

So the title!?   I know that it may look foreign to some people.  You may wonder if you clicked on the wrong page.  I’ll make sure to explain it.  Have you ever walked into any setting and been the only person in the room that looks like you, or representative of your race, culture or ethnicity?  In a world that is at least leaning towards now giving lip service to the concept of diversity, singular situations are becoming more common.  I’ve been in this spot a few times.  At times its been purposeful.  Partly because of the explorer inside of me, and because I’m interested in things (music, food, locations, etc) that are outside of the limits of what stereotype and mainstream dictate.  This can happen to anyone.  There’s not a race, culture or ethnic prerequisite.  As a member of an interracial family, I have to tell you the first few years of interactions with my in-laws were BRUTAL!  I made it to a point where hatred was being born in my heart I promise.  This is not an easy place.  I’m going to paint a quick picture for those unfamiliar.

You are a black (woman/man) walking into a room with only caucasian (or other different) people.  Someone walks up to you and begins to start one of two conversations; one that involves Barack Obama or fried chicken.  Every question is asked with the expectation that you can answer for THE ENTIRE BLACK RACE and all it’s participants good and bad.  You begin to attempt to explain by gently opening the door to a world that is just as diverse as the birds in the trees with its individual sets of opportunity and obstacles.  You realize you’re talking to someone who doesn’t have an earthly concept of what you’re mentioning.  Instead they address you with a demeaning behavior and make it brutally clear that they believe you should act and react the way that media has told them you should.  They start neck popping, quite horribly, speaking slang, and talking about “black people” as if it were a meat label.  If you get upset because of “their” ignorance then you’re an angry black woman, further feeding the furry of ignorance.   Ignorance is not derogatory here, it’s truly not knowing.  This can also happen if a person had ONE bad experience with someone who represents your racial classification.  You must pay!  You are them, and you have the same ideas, and are a replica.

The title is ‘por uno pagan todos”  It is a phrase in Spanish used quite often that says, “Everyone pays for one.”  Does everyone carry the weight of an entire racial/ethnic classification on their backs?  It’s amazing that one bad interaction; the person who cut you off in traffic or was mean to you in high school, can dictate how someone receives and entire group of people.  This also happens when someone has never had an interaction and only knows what they’ve been told by people and media outlets.   There are many rhetorical theory that say in bulk that we even gather & congregate with people who see interactions through the same lens.  The only way to break down walls is to trust that one person can NEVER carry the weight of their race of their backs.  I want to encourage everyone reading this to give a new person another chance.  This time leave the rhetoric and bias at the door.  I promise you can have a different, and even life changing experience.

Until the Next,

Others’Mother /  @MarjorieIam

 

Bi-racial Black, The New Face of Black America?

Mulatto-collage-2

 

Hello World Wide Web,  Welcome to We Check Other.  I tried to find a picture that had as many bi-racial Americans on it as possible.  Don’t quote me on each of them, but they look pretty accurate.  Each person on the collage above is bi-racial.  Taking the focus briefly away from well-known bi-racial Americans to just regular popular culture and media.  Visiting a store in America and I’m sure maybe around the globe in some instances, if you pick up a Pampers box, cereal box or just any normal item that a person buys; normally there is a fair-skinned child with large soft looking curls on the front.  I visited a beauty supply store recently and while walking down the natural hair aisle with products for “black women”, observing the front of most of the bottles, even perms, I noticed there were fair-skinned young woman with large loose curls that are more parallel to the face of someone who is actually biracial.  Just from a preliminary look at what’s popular in music, time after time there are women and men, who are quite popular who are daughters and sons of white mothers and black fathers and even vise versa.  What makes the post topic  relevant is that MOST if not all of them, proudly proclaim they are ONLY black.

I’m not saying that the people above or even in popular culture are wrong in their affirmations.  Most people are aware of something called the One Drop Rule.  It’s not a fantasy.  It’s real.  In most states it was enforced by law at least until the 1980’s or so.  A person owning up to 1/32 black heritage was qualified has black only regardless of father or mother race.

The One-Drop Rule is a historical, colloquial term in the US that a person with any trace of sub-Saharan ancestry, however small or invisible, cannot be considered White unless the person has an alternative non-White ancestry they can claim, such as Native American, Asian, Arab, Australian Aboriginal; they must be considered Black.

What a blow! So anyone else can mix with white and even become “white”?  The answer in plenty of cases is yes, or at least enjoy white privilege.  Of course this law is applicable for claiming “white” as your race but what about Asian, Native American, Middle Eastern with a mixture of black?  Are the rules the same rules? Can you no longer solely belong to the parent group now being mixed black? Then there’s the component of ethnic & features; such as Middle Eastern, or Asian. The strength of their exclusive features can exclude them as well. Passing?  Depends on how you look? Maybe? If you look too ethnic no, if not; lucky you? Maybe. I’m not sure but I would love someone who knows to chime in.

Bringing it all in, so most of the people above were born before 1980.  Their reality was the one drop rule/law.  They didn’t have a choice.  Of course these ideas are also the baby boomer generation and the ones that follow who have the majority of wealth and control in the US and abroad.  This keeps the ideas of what was and how it should be is alive and well.  If you’re mixed black, then you’re black.  Mixed is a concept that doesn’t exist, of course until the Census threw it into the Algebraic human salad in the year 2000 saying, yes you have a choice.

What about the Y generation and beyond? Which is 1980 births and beyond it I might add.  The new census? People being able to at least describe their full heritage, even if they aren’t yet recognized that way by the world.   Will generation Y be the trend setters? “Big dreamers!”   Most people in this generation aren’t exposed to the realities that once were.  If they are it’s because they’re  being taught.  From a sociological perspective we all learn from our parents and environments.  Now with record immigration, and the official striking down of the one drop rule, and Loving vs Virginia, the opportunity for people to love, marry, simply have relationships and even adopt across racial borders are a reality.   We see the world changing and becoming more and more diverse before our eyes.  As a matter of fact a few of the people listed above have children that no longer even “look” black at all because of who they love and married.

What do we do?  Is the solution to continue to pass off bi-racial people as black only?  Even after the rules are no longer applicable.  I think there’s a universal fear of all bi-racial people being carted off to misfit land and not being able to claim how they feel in their soul.  If a person feels black only then by all means they should be allowed to live there.  In fact if they were born before the rules changed, lets not go reversing rules.  BUT if we are to move forward as a country, then we should start having real discussions about the new rules and the identities of children and adults that now hang in the balance because of them.

Thank you so much for stopping by.  Please join the conversation.  Every Tuesday night @ wecheckother on Twitter beginning at 9pm EST we will hold a one hour chat discussing topics like this and so many others.  Please use hashtag #wecheckother & #letstalkrace to participate and join in.

Until the next,

XOXOXO,

Others’Mother

A Letter from a Black Mother! Dear World…

Good Afternoon World Wide Web!  I want to share a letter.  This letter could be written by any mother with some of the same questions that this letter addresses.  It will pose some major questions and spark discussion.

Dear World,

I have a few questions.  It’s one that may or may not take very long to answer depending upon your views of the world that we share.  I’m preparing my son to become a productive member of our society and I would like to know what your reaction to the love of my life will be after I add all the love, support, lessons, and self-esteem I can to him at home.   In my home he enjoys a very rich experience of having multiple languages and cultures in his everyday interactions.  After I release him to you, your views, rejection, or opinions could reverse everything that I’ve placed my life into building up.  If I listen to the news, according to his melanin content that I adore, he will be profiled and have to walk in fear of being jailed because the statistics aren’t in his favor.  I love my baby.  There is nothing that I wouldn’t do to make sure that he can have every opportunity that the world could offer him.  I’m his mother!  My son is Hispanic and Black.  I know that the statistics actually aren’t in his favor on either side.  My letter represents so many who have a relationship with someone different from themselves.  We could even imagine that my son was Black and White (Non-Hispanic)  No matter the race, the question would be similar.

My afro isn’t exactly the pillar of beauty in the Latino community.  I watch television in Spanish and I can count on one hand the number of people who look like me or my baby on the collective of their broadcasts.  I fear for him because the love that he feels here at home could cause him to walk blindly into a place where he would not feel accepted.  That’s an issue for me.  When he looks at his father, who provides an un-bias love to him, I’m often reminded that everyone will not be so nice.

On the other hand, in the Black Community everyone with an ounce of black is accepted.  To be honest, in my community, once his or her hair follicle is opened and his or her skin is lightened, he becomes even more accepted.  I would go as far as to say, he becomes even more popular in my community because he or she is now, “light-skinned black”  I’ll admit this is something that if you aren’t apart of this group it may not be of importance to you.  It’s one that my race will continue to work on as time continues on.  So let me ask.

Does my son now forget his father because I’m a black woman?  As I prepare my son to be a “black” man, I often try and expect what you will reverse.   How do I protect my baby from the racism in the Latino community?  How do I prepare my son for the racism in America?  How do I help him properly nurture all of his identity?

A concerned “Black” Mother who Checks “Other” for her child

 

So there you have it.  Let me know what you think.  Thanks for stopping by.

Until the next,

Others’Mother

You’re NOT Black, White or Mixed Enough!!!

why

 

Greatest Afternoon World Wide Web.  “Today is a GREAT day!  We are all closer to perfection today than we were yesterday!” -Marjorie Molina.  Today as the Carolina Blue Skies shower me with beautiful inspiration, I want to speak to you from my heart.  I own a multi-faceted vision.  My heart beats faster and my being becomes engaged while learning and participating in any conversation or function that encompasses race, culture, ethnicity, identity & diversity.  Honestly, the question that has been posed to me in my travels the most is, “You’re a black woman, why do you care about diversity?”  Really? It doesn’t help that I’m multi-lingual and I’m married to a Latino.  I’ve been written off as a “wanna-be” or not owning my “black.”  I seriously thought about calling L.L. Cool J.  We should collaborate.  I get it.  (I truly plan to) Chris Rock  gave his movie, “Good Hair”  So many have introduced this issue, that has soooo many levels.   I’ve had a few people say they were going to take my “black card”  I’m not “black enough.”  “Black Enough?”  Should I snap and roll my neck, speak improperly?  Maybe that would make you like me.  I should submit to stereotypes and help facilitate the progression of wounded social norms.  But the meat and potatoes is, “You’re NOT multiracial”  But…My children are.   My soul is wrapped around my two children.  I breathe to love them, and create a future for them that will allow their integration as productive adults into our society.  That has been my job since I gave birth and it will be my job until the day that I retire.  I see a gap in our current beliefs and understanding that leaves room for my children and children and adults like them to have questions about their identities. I am seeking to fill that gap.  Recently, in a conversation I had someone tell me I was promoting racial assimilation.  That I’m trying to “whitten the race.”  I could just let my children say they’re black, besides, the one drop rule would apply to make it true.    I could just call them “black” and let them have the privilege of being lighter skinned, and having “good hair.”  Here’s what I understand about multi-racial, cultural and ethnic identity.  It’s not about being “let into a club”  Can I check your box?  It’s not about that at all.  Instead it’s about, I’ve grown up in a house with two people who look differently, believe differently,  share different cultures etc, and personally, I don’t want either of “your boxes.”  I am a unique individual beyond the threshold of your post 1776 German doctor views.”  This is what I get most times I meet someone who is “mixed”  There are some who say, “I am mixed”, “I really don’t know how to answer that question” or they solely identify with one over the other.”

The German medical scientist Johann Blumenbach, whose 1776 book, “On the Natural Varieties of Mankind,” established the five-race model we know  today: “Caucasian, Mongolian (Asian), Malay (Pacific Islanders), American Indian and Negro.”

Their parents go through hell trying to exist in a world of turmoil and petty quarrels over their varying existences together. The movements of interracial acceptance didn’t began in the U.S. until the 1960’s and trickled to a post confederate south that never truly opened up to the understanding until later in the 1970’s.    Imagine that it wasn’t until the year 2000 that people of mixed race were able to check more than one box on the U.S. Census.

I am a Mother!  I was born to change my future, my children’s & anywhere that my arms can reach.  I know that’s what I was born to do.

Thank you so much for tuning in.  As always if you would like to reach me; my email is always open.  I’m always looking to connect with like minds.  email me at DiverCityInc@hotmail.com.  I’m on Twitter @MarjorieIam  @wecheckother.   Make your day GREAT!

XOXOXO,

Others’Mother

What Makes Diversity Possible?

world baby boy girl

“Great Morning World Wide Web!  Today is a beautiful day!  We are all closer to perfection than we were yesterday.”  I’m going to do something totally out of the ordinary today.  I’m going to ask after you read this content, to exercise your imagination.  It’s going to be hard because most people who are not physically limited, see the entire world with colors.  The greens that protect our vision, the blues both above us and below us that inspire us to dream and even LOVE.  There are all the beautiful hues of flowers that in the western world are currently in full bloom.  My yard now has about 10 different hues that balance me every time I look at them.  Now imagine a world where those gifts didn’t exist.  The human experience with every single person was the exact same size, same color; eyes, skin hair etc.  That the beauty in nature was uniform and without color.   Hair was always the same texture, no variety in eye, nose or mouth shapes.  You look out on the world and the colors that ignite you and even bring you happiness didn’t exist.  I don’t know about you, but I just imagined myself right out of the joy of living.  I think if the rules applied where humans were uniform it would have to apply to nature as well.  Just try it.  You’ll see.  For anyone who feels that, “well yeah…that’s the world I want”, then this blog may not be for you, and that’s okay.  There is a blog and a world for everyone.  But for those of you who are in the right place, my point is to engage your mind.  I understand that I can’t change the world or the people in it.  Besides, the diversity of thought and physicality is truly what makes the experience.   I severely enjoy these gifts of nature.  All of the colors, beauty, and differences of existence.  I don’t want to live without them, I am working for a solution to exist and love within them.  There is a RESPECT: an act of giving particular attention to what is.  Then there is working together to find out what makes peace possible?  How can understanding happen?  What makes diversity possible?  DIVERSITY: understanding that everyone is unique.  It recognizes individual differences and encompasses RESPECT.  This is a collective effort and I feel there is not a right or wrong answer.    So after you have taken a second to visualize, please share.  What do YOU think makes diversity possible?

As always, I would like to thank you for your time & attention.  Please connect with me on Twitter @MarjorieIam.  There is also a growing audience of emerging like minds @wecheckother on Twitter and Facebook.   I look forward to growing towards a solution collectively.  Please share your thoughts.

XOXOXO,

Others’Mother

 

“I AM” Who I Say I AM!!!

stereotypesGreatest Afternoon World Wide Web!  Today is a beautifully blessed DAY!  Today We are ALL closer to perfection than we were yesterday!  I want to begin by acknowledging that I am not perfect at this!  I fight daily bias, and racism inside of my journey just to try to effectively address the subject of mixed races, cultures and ethnicities.  Because I dare to cross the line into other cultural worlds for better understanding; what I find more times than not is a force of opposition.  Collective people and bias who have seen the news, or heard from one person who told another a racial stereotype.  Then I pay in their minds for the entire black race.  I’ve been known before maturing to not go down without a fight.  Anyone who truly knows me, knows that I am passionate about “black” racial issues and sensitive to all issues of race, racism, ethnicities and culture.   I’d come out with facts and great argument in opposition of bias to “defend” the negative connotations of my race and culture or even that of others.  But…to no avail, the next time they see me; it’s the same issue over again, only this time, they’ve got a different stereotype or bias to throw out there.  I’m coming to understand this is the climate of human kind.  We watch nationally syndicated shows that have a view, and they invite one poor little soul with an opposing view and verbally tear them apart.  This is today’s news and overall environment.  I love the people who say,”Why do you care what others think?”  or “I’m a complete being no one’s outside views bother me.”  We are all STILL on the playground.  All of us still want to be the coolest, most fashionable, highly sought after prom king or queen.  Our playgrounds now are mainstream media and social networking is all.  We are ALL influenced by our environments. The question then only becomes how to process the racism and bias.  What other ways do we have to live and channel to support a healthy emotional state when EVERYONE has an opinion.  TOO MANY are just hateful and cruel.  Just yesterday, a “friend” of my husband’s placed a posting on my husband’s page.  My husband purchased a motorcycle.  This “friend” found a picture of a very unattractive over weight  “black” woman with a two piece bathing suit and a blonde weave placed sideways on her head and posted it to my husband’s face book page.  I’m  truly just now processing the emotions.  I’ve fought back emotions for two days.   This guy is Latino, and his wife is white American, which is one of the reasons why they could be viewed as a worthy couple two engage with and our children expose themselves to.  It has been totally contrary.  Most of the time, when we’ve been in their company, the conversations always find themselves steering to my children’s skin colors and hair textures.  My children have two different skin tones and hair textures.   This “friend” has also gotten both myself and his wife in a room and boastfully voiced what he “thinks”  about Americans both black and white.  Of course he enforces that he thinks “I’m not an American” and his wife is.  This was another confirmation for me that being “black” and Latino was an issue as well.  I’ve heard often from Mestizo Latino and other tri-racial ethnic mixes the reference to Black Latino as not Latino.   It’s actually interesting, relative and parallel to some of the same racial dynamics in the USA and all over the world.  This isn’t the first or the 100th time that I’ve had to withstand the brunt end of  such ignorance.  I’ve often considered that this “friend” being an “undocumented” Latino immigrant influences his opinion.  It could be that, or it just could be his lack of true understanding for this country and the history of the culture and dynamics.  I’ve even leaned towards him having only “T.V.” education which is just all together bad.   There is a comment in Spanish that states, “por uno paga todos” which simply translates to, “Everyone pays for one.”  It’s amazing how a person’s interactions, or understanding of one person or incident can completely shape what and how they perceive an entire race, culture, or ethnicity of people.  I can’t guarantee you that I don’t slip into the wanting of completely withdrawing myself, or even utter dislike.  I’m growing.   I am also mature enough to understand that one person’s words or actions can not speak for an entire group.  This is one of the biggest reasons that I have decided to start this project.  There are too many misconceptions, stereotypes, bias and racism. Bringing attention to some of them and engaging in a fact based dialogue to reverse the 16th century studies of socialism can really be a leap in understanding.  As long as we stand in the ways of old;  checking one box, and segregating ourselves; change will never come to us or our children.

 

 

As always, thank you so much for tuning in.  Please leave your positive feedback as it is always welcome.  Please find my public Facebook and Twitter page to LIKE and FOLLOW the discussions.  Until the next,

XOXOXO!,

Others’Mother

 

Let’s Talk Race?

alberteinstein

Greatest Afternoon World Wide Web.  Today is a beautiful day!  We are closer to perfection than we were yesterday.  I am going to spread my wings and type today.  Most of the time, there is this thought out idea, attempting to not step on any toes, offend, and omit bias.  I check once, twice and have my friends to proofread before pressing publish.   I have this vision of education,community and arts but there are days that I am just discouraged.    When I met my husband; we fell in love and our relationship has been an adventure.  We dated 2 years with a family language barrier for the 1st year.  I learn fast, so we were up and communicating in no time.  I even hopped on a plane and left the country to meet his family with all the broken Spanish that I could take with me.   I wondered what my friends would think.  How we would integrate our very different upbringing and beliefs?  We were married and our first child was born in 2007.  I wondered, “How would she be perceived?”  Even I wondered “What was her race?”  How would I describe my beautiful baby to the world?  Her name was a challenge; my in-laws don’t speak any English.  My mother doesn’t speak Spanish.  Now I have my children with their first name that my in-laws can’t pronounce, and their 2nd name, that my mother can’t.  Problem solved!  They call them by which name they can pronounce and everyone is happy.   Learning to live within and integrate this new existence that is as delicate as a feather.  I’ve had so many challenges and triumphs.  In certain parts of the world, this isn’t an important conversation.  There are plenty of major Metropolitan cities that are as diverse as a tropical paradise.  Unfortunately, there are so many more that are beyond that horizon that have not arrived yet.  There is not true respect and understanding for racial identities in so many places.  Stereotypes, racism and bias plague the futures of our diverse little pioneers who will go out into the world with multiple perspectives on cultures and race.  Why did my life have to touch on one of the super sensitive subjects?  You know the ones you’re never truly suppose to discuss without expecting an argument; religion, politics, race.  The most sensitive ones in the pack.   These subjects are all tied to culture.  With everything considered,  I know it’s where I’m suppose to be going.    It helps that I’ve always been the person that’s really hard to tell “be quiet” to.  I enjoy speech that is  relative to issues that I am passionate about.  Right now I am the director, founder, CEO, funder, fundraiser, grant research/writer at We Check Other.com/org.   Today I am PR /Outreach.  If you are interested in connecting, to partner with and or partnership opportunities you can reach out to me at letstalkrace@live.com.  Have an idea?  Are you a individual or organization with a passion for race, culture, diversity, multi- racial, cultural, ethnic issues, conversations, arts, research. etc? Sponsor?

If you have a general inquiry, you can always send your email to wecheckother@yahoo.com.  As always thank you for tuning in.  Your support is always welcome on facebook and twitter @wecheckother.  Until the Next!

XOXOXO,

Others’Mother

 

Pride, Prejudice, and Egocentrism

 

pledge

Greatest Evening World Wide Web!  Today is a wonderful day!  We are closer to perfection than we were yesterday.  The words that are coming from my fingers have been inside my mind for some time.  I didn’t really know how to speak on the subject without seeming like I would offend anyone.  Then I realized the very existing of children that are mixed offends some people so I won’t make everyone happy.  Well…here it goes.

Pride, Prejudice and Egocentrism.  Once I learned another language and interacted with people outside of my cultural comfort zone I started to see the world that I lived in from the outside in.  I see black differently.  I think at the same time I started to see all people and culture differently. Ladies. Have you ever walked into a nail salon with Asian employees and asked the employee to maybe change your nail polish like three times? Gentlemen. Maybe you’ve gone into a business where you’ve made a similar petition.  You can tell they are upset, and they immediately convert to speak to the person beside them in their native language.  What if it was a racial slur?  What if it was a comment that if it were in English would be illegal and enforceable by law?  Have you ever gone into an Authentic Latino, African, Middle Eastern or any other restaurant or business and right in front of you, the person started to speak in their native language?  Do you assume?  Take your business elsewhere?  Now let’s switch the scenario.  A person whose nationality is from a country outside of the USA comes into a business that is owned by an US Citizen of US Nationality.  The client upsets them  and the owner or employee says in English a derogatory comment about a protected status; race, color, religion, national origin etc.  Would it be fair to say that just because this is America and the national language is English that this is now a CRIME?  Why wouldn’t it be the reverse?  I’m not saying that we need a translator in every business where someone is speaking another language, but there should be a common ground.  I’m not saying now that people can not practice their languages of their heritage in their homes either.  What does this mean?

I am raising children that check OTHER.  They are of Latino and African-American descent.  That is two ethnicities; Latino and African American, marrying themselves IN the beautiful United States of America.  This is of course multiple races.  (Latino/Spanish is NOT a RACE; it’s an ethnicity/culture)  It’s also the largest classification other than color on the Census, assuming that everyone is an American and understanding that the country is filled with immigrants from all over the world.   Here is where my question gets sticky.  Flags, language, cultural shift etc.  I am an American and I speak, read and write Spanish as a 2nd language.  I want my children to be proud of both of their heritages.  I want them to appreciate America, immigration, and understand the WHY in all of their future questions.  Opportunity is what called most immigrants to the United States.  Teaching them about racism is important.  This is a real issue in our world.  Children of multiple races and ethnicities are perfect, little ambassadors to bridge a racial conversation that is long overdue.  My children are bilingual; learned at home.  They speak and understand BOTH languages well.    Being bilingual is important.  All too often, I’ve heard people tell me, you should speak only SPANISH in your home and let “the teachers at school” teach your child English. ” They will learn fast, my children did.”  Is that the teacher’s responsibility?  In an already stressed economy where poor teachers are loosing their jobs based on performance, and plagued by variables such as language being one that are beyond their control.   I just feel that this subject can be explored more.  The refusal to learn English by some.  Is this Egocentrism.  The expectation of a translator?  The demand that laws are enforced when they are broken in English only?   How far does this go?   Realizing that as an African-American it’s NOT normal in the SOUTH for me to hang an American flag to show patriotism to my country of origin; America.  America is the only country embedded into my being.   Can I be Patriotic?  Am I Patriotic?  Is my allegiance to the Africa that I’ve never known? When I’ve asked people from outside of the country that come as immigrants, “Who is American?”  The answer provided normally is Caucasian.   Black American is “Black”, and Caucasian is American.  I almost drifted off into another blog, but I won’t press backspace because it’s necessary.  I couldn’t properly discuss this subject without at least mentioning that  “I” am not completely recognized on a consensus as an American.  What is patriotism?  Lack of Inclusion? I’ve often wondered why “Black” people who were brought as slaves more than a century ago are kept from their heritage and all flags because of broken records etc. BUT everyone else who came voluntarily can proudly say where their lineage comes from and even waive flags of other countries of origin. I’ve met people who mark “Caucasian” as their classification, yet the only LOVE that flows from their mouth is that of ITALY, IRISH, SCOTTISH, EUROPE etc.  The people from around the world who are aware of their heritage and proudly waive their flags.   Are we guilty of looking at ethnic groups and based on their physical appearance keeping them in a country of origin?  One can not LOOK Latino, because it is not a race, but we take part in racial profiling.  The culture also practices similar racism to that of America’s past and present.  If you look Asian, (which is a valid uniform ethnic group) then you are Asian, and not an American and etc….  Can one have pride without having EGOCENTRISM?     Egocentrism? Possibly.  Prejudice?  Could be.  Pride?  I’m sure it may be….  But where is the Red, White, and Blue line?

Patriotism is a cultural attachment to one’s homeland, excluding differences caused by the dependencies of the term’s meaning upon context, geography and philosophy. In a generalized sense applicable to all countries and peoples, patriotism is a devotion to one’s country.[citation needed]-WIKIPEDIA

Let me know what you think.  Shares are recommended!!!  I would love to hear from you.   As always I would like to thank you for tuning in.  Please find me on facebook and twitter @wecheckother.  Thank you!

XOXOXO,

Others’Mother

For your reading pleasure…..

Egocentrism is characterized by preoccupation with one’s own internal world. Egocentrics regard themselves and their own opinions or interests as being the most important or valid. Self-relevant information is seen to be more important in shaping one’s judgments than do thoughts about others and other-relevant information (Windschitl, Rose, Stalkfleet & Smith, 2008). Egocentric people are unable to fully understand or to cope with other people’s opinions and the fact that reality can be different from what they are ready to accept.-Wikipedia

 

The word prejudice refers to prejudgement: i.e. making a decision before becoming aware of the relevant facts of a case. In recent times, the word has come to be most often used to refer to preconceived, usually unfavorable, judgments toward people or a person because ofgendersocial classagedisabilityreligionsexualityrace/ethnicitylanguagenationality or other personal characteristics.-Wikipedia

Pride is an inwardly directed emotion that carries two common meanings. With a negative connotation, pride refers to an inflated sense of one’s personal status or accomplishments, often used synonymously with hubris. With a positive connotation,pride refers to a satisfied sense of attachment toward one’s own or another’s choices and actions, or toward a whole group of people, and is a product of praise, independent self-reflection, or a fulfilled feeling of belonging. Philosophers and social psychologists have noted that pride is a complex secondary emotion which requires the development of a sense of self and the mastery of relevant conceptual distinctions (e.g., that pride is distinct from happiness and joy) through language-based interaction with others.[1] Some social psychologists identify it as linked to a signal of high social status.[2] In contrast pride could also be defined as a disagreement with the truth. One definition of pride in the first sense comes from St. Augustine: “the love of one’s own excellence”.[3] In this sense, the opposite of pride is either humility or guilt; the latter in particular being a sense of one’s own failure in contrast to Augustine’s notion of excellence.-Wikipedia